I volunteer at my church every Sunday in the nursery. I’ve done this every year since I was about 16. I have always had a passion for little kids, and found volunteering for the church very self-rewarding. So it’s a win-win situation. Today a new, little boy named Andrew was dropped off by his mother. You would’ve thought I had candy hanging all over my body, he just did not let go of me. And I was totally okay with that! He was still learning to talk so he has that innocent baby voice that couldn’t pronounce each letter. When I asked him what his name was he said, “Andwew,” and when I asked what his favorite toy was he said, “twucks.” Andrew was also in the stage where he would get the giggles at random things you said. I asked him what color he wanted to draw with and he was laughing for the next five minutes. He had such a sweet smile, big blue eyes, and loving touch. I didn’t have trouble with him the whole time, which is pretty unheard of for a child’s first time in day care and leaving their parents side. He immediately won me over, and is now at the top of my favorites list. Today, Andrew reminded me of why I love doing what I do. When the service was over, another woman came to pick him up. We have to log everything in a book to ensure safety of the child. So when I asked her relation to Andrew she said, “Mother, my wife dropped him off.” I smiled, and handed Andrew off to his parent. Today gave me Hope. Hope that one day that will be Laura and I dropping off our daughter or son. Hope to keep pushing through, when at times it would be so much easier to just give up.

Today, Laura and I went back to an agency (Family First to be exact) that told us they would get back with us within two weeks after our first appointment… well it had been two MONTHS. I was very irritated with the staff having called countless times and left many voicemails to call me back with an update, and did not hear anything back for two months. I swear they only called me back so that I would stop bothering them. I mean come on, it’s their job? Anyways, Laura calmed me down and made me promise I wouldn’t make a big scene out of it before we walked inside. We checked in and were put in the waiting room until an agent was free. There were a few other couples in there already, when we walked in half of them smiled back and others looked at us and returned to their conversations or magazines. By now, that’s pretty normal. Quickly, the room filled with eager couples waiting to talk to an agent. And slowly, one by one, couples names were called until we were the last couple left in the room. I repeat the last ones…when we were one of the first ones there at the beginning of the day. Laura could see my frustration and I could see it in her as well. She asked if I wanted to leave and i said “Hell no.” I was determined now to take the time out of one of the agents day to talk to me. It just isn’t fair, and they can’t get away with it. I was staying. I walked back up to the receptionist and very passive aggressively told her the situation and ensured her we will be waiting until we speak to someone. Finally, about 20 minutes later an agent appears in the doorframe and innocently says “Kiley and Laura,” as if we hadn’t just waited three hours and were the last couple left. We sat down in her office, she pulled out our file, and said that there really isn’t much they can do at this point because they are still waiting on our background checks to be confirmed. STILL? I asked why ours took so much longer than some of the others and she said “some just take longer than others, it depends on the case.”

ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME. The ride back home i was so heated. These people are ridiculous. Both Laura and I have never gotten a felony, misdemeanor, or even a speeding ticket.It doesn’t get much cleaner that that. I find it humorous that they would even try to tell us that our background check is what is holding up our process. No that’s not it. It’s because we are lesbians. We know that, and they know that. And because we are lesbians they get to hold that against us and try to find some type of criminal evidence proving we are unfit for parenthood. And this is why I am writing this blog. And this is why our voice needs to be heart. We are NOT criminals, and I certainly am NOT stupid.